While the Thanksgiving season is dedicated to gratitude, it also means navigating the intense, often complex, dynamics of family.
True connection at the holiday table often demands a willingness to address old hurts and set down resentments. The work of Forgiveness and Reconciliation is not easy, but it is vital for personal peace and deeper family bonds.
We are honored to present a two-part series on a timely message from one of our team members at Huntsville Professional Counseling—Cindy Eades, LPC, CST.
Read Cindy Eades' expertise below on Forgiveness and Reconciliation as she offers clear and necessary guidance on moving past hurt and finding a path toward authentic reconciliation...
Part II
Reconciliation is often conflated with forgiveness, but the two are very different concepts. Whereas forgiveness
is a conscious decision made between you and the Lord, reconciliation is a human-to-human conversation that
happens between two willing participants.
Keep in mind that the word “willing” is crucial here to have a productive conversation. Reconciliation is not possible without both parties being willing to seek it out. They may have reservations, but overall, they do want to make things right again. Forgiveness in some form is also necessary for a reconciliation conversation. Without being able to trust the Lord in the pursuit of justice, it will hinder reconciliation.
So what exactly is reconciliation?
It is when the offended party is 100% convinced that the offender understands the harm that was done and is disturbed by their own actions. The person who was harmed can rest knowing that the person harming recognizes that what they did hurt someone they care about.
I have a theory that people feel vindicated when they see how much the offender is hurt by their own actions. It settles something deep inside of me when I see that happen. There is a piece of everyone’s heart that rejoices when conviction happens.
One last thought about reconciliation. It is necessary to have an appreciation for the varying degrees of harm
that need to be reconciled.
When there is a generally good relationship otherwise, and one person makes a thoughtless comment, it will
take far less time to reconcile than if there is something akin to infidelity or a legal crime. The remedy could be
something as simple as saying, “I hate that I said that.”
“I’m sorry” can go miles in continuing good feelings
between two people. However, when the offenses are far more serious, reconciliation can take months or even years of conversations.
Have an appreciation for the degree of harm as you embark on this worthwhile journey with the other person.